Privately speaking.

I never get a break from tearing, & he never breaks a tear.

I put you number one in my life & I get no credit at all for it.

I’m called selfish for worrying about myself when I lose you.

& That makes no difference at all.

I’m the most unselfish person in the world.

But I’m too humble to admit it.

But you make me act like one.

& I hate you for that

I’ll admit I shouldn’t be crying this much, this I just can’t control it anymore.

I can’t even breathe properly.

I’m wheezing so hard right now.

It hurts my heart and chest so much.. That just causes me to cry even more

Over & over & over again.

Why am I always the one crying. Screaming into my pillow. Waking up with sore eyes. Unable to sleep. Losing my voice. Feeling like I’m being stabbed.

I. don’t. deserve. this.